Okay, I'll do it fast and short for this entry.
Alhamdulillah, I'd spent almost 3 months at home for semester break. You know, I almost forget how it feel to be with family, to be in home, not house. I can't recall how it's feel like to feel the warmth of love, the laugh of family and friends, and I don't remember if I ever appreciate mother nature before.
Spending time with mama and papa at the restaurant, now I know, it's not that I don't what they're going through before but this time, I can see beyond what my eyes can see. I can see and feel, see through my heart and not only my eyes. Allah, I can see the wrinkles on their faces and I know that wrinkles form faster because of me. They work really hard, but I know they push their selves, for me. They are old already, how can I see them working at the age when they're supposed to be at home, resting, doing things that they love, things that peoples at their age do, like gardening, cooking favorite food, travelling and such. Allah, I'll be the witness of how they had raised me, give me unconditional love, and do their best for their children.
And, I don't know how it feels to be with siblings, rant about random things, going out together, cooking together and celebrating birthday. I swear, I almost forget how it's feel. I forget how we related in blood. I forget that I have peoples who still want me no matter what happen, who will be there for me anytime.
Friends, the only people that I rely on in each phase of my life. But half of my life now, I rely on the same person. I don't know how she can still be with me despite of everything that happen in our lives. Life is much easier with her in my life. I'll never give up this relationship, not when I can see how strong this friendship have grow. I love you, friends.
Last but not least, do you ever look around yourself and see every thing differently? I don't know, I think that I'm having scandal with mother nature now. Every curve of the leaves, every vein on the petals, every change in the sky when the sun goes down, the beauty that they share with every one without asking anything in return. Surprisingly, nature has been my remedy for now. It's amazing to feel you're related with everything in the ecosystem, to know you're part of the nature. Don't see it, feel it!
Okay, I know I said it will be short for this entry but I can't help it. I want to share what I feel!
The last day at home, I feel a deep cut in my heart. I've been at home for a too long period of time. I can't let go what I have now, I don't know when will I come back or if I ever will come back again. What if I come back to see people that I love have gone? What if I don't have the chance to share the love that they'd gave me? What if this semester break is the last break for me? Oh brain, stop over-thinking! I'm going mad.
Allah, please, take care of them. Protect them, love them. You are my only hope. Allah, accompany me so I don't feel lonely. Allah, thanks for everything. :'(
Where there is love, there is life.