Transition

Assalamualaikum.

If you read my last entry, you'll know that I worked at a tuition center as teaching assistant. Had a good time working there and enjoyed all classes that I handled. I meet cute intelligent students and got the opportunity working with fun and helpful colleagues. Unfortunately, I need to find a job that can help me save money. The pay that I got at that place is just enough to pay for my phone bill, food and spend on a few stupid things.

Hence, I changed my workplace. This new place is just two blocks away from the previous one. I started working here on April 4th. I just upgraded myself to be a teacher for BM, English, Math and Physics subjects. Yeah, I teaches 4 subjects guys, for primary and secondary school! Even a normal teacher doesn't do that, which is good because they'll grow old in just a year if they did so. The pay is twice fron the old place BUT the workload is also twice.

On the second day, I cried like a baby because I didn't want to go to work. I can't handle the stress and the workloads. I can't fit myself at the new place. But duh, it just a second day. Who can adapt to new environment in 2 days? But I told myself, I gotta be strong. I can't be weak, I can't give up just like that.

"You won't grow from doing the easy things"
"You don't know what you can do till you try"
"Diamond is made under pressure"

These were my chants in the first week. And I survived the first week! Alhamdulillah. But got very lembik on weekend because my classes are pack like sardine. My leg felt like a jelly, my body felt like I've been puched and my brain felt like it was shrinking. Okay, so dramatic hahaha.

Now, I adapt myself better at my workplace. There's still room for improvement tho. And.....I really want to let this out.

I HATE MY JOB!

Adapting doesn't mean I feel better at the place. I just tolerate better. I hate how I have to teach for 10 hours straight with 30 minutes rest for pray in afternoon and evening. I hate how I have to teach when I am not fully prepared for that class because I was told to handle that class in the last minute. I hate how I still have to teach Malay language to a Chinese student even though I don't know how to explain, I fear he might failed this subject.

So yeah, it's actually this fear that I have that made me hate my job. The fear of not being able to help my students to improve and show good progress. The fear of parents' expectation. I pray everyday that my students understand what I taught them. I pray I will get a job as an engineer as soon as possible so I don't have to do this anymore.

I'll try my best. But still, I'm looking for better job that make me happy. After all, life is short. We have to be happy and live life to the fullest. Let's hope for better day and better job.